Jesus at the Centre of 2013

Jesus at the Centre of It All
Jesus at the Centre of It All 
From Beginning to the End,
It will always be, its always been..You
Jesus, Jesus.
(Song by Israel Houghton)

The above words are my prayer for 2013. That Jesus would be at the centre of my life - my relations, my words, my thoughts, my deeds, my all. 

2012 - I am very grateful to God for His goodness to me this year. I count my blessings; salvation, providence, protection, family, love, promotion, friends, laughter, sleep, beauty, favor and many more....its impossible to say it all. I bow in humility, Lord.

I am grateful Lord, for teaching me how to trust you while in a bubble. I was scared at the beginning, but through the year, I have come to learn your deep love and care for me and I lay before you in adoration.

Thank you Lord, also for answering my prayer for my husband. Tim is your doing and he is marvelous in my sight. Thank you, Father. Your love is overwhelming.

For my workplace - I have learnt you are the God who strengthens me and gives me the ability to persevere. Its been tough, but you have been my help. Thank you for everything. I commit 2013 to you as far as my workplace is concerned, would it please you to grant me a new job....and while it comes...grace to remain steadfast at my current - above all, may your will be done. Help me deal with the bile in my heart in regard to office matters.

Jesus be the centre of my life
Jesus be the centre of my life
From January to December 2013
It will always be...let it always be you,
Jesus, Jesus.

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Storm Lesson....

Its the time of the year when we do appraisals at my work place.....and mine did not go too well....

See, I have worked really hard this year...put in a lot of overtime and have had really tight deadlines.....my boss has a vexatious spirit about her...that troubles my soul.....troubles me so much that when asked whether I'd like to return to my former department.....I said....*Yes*.....and that did not sit well with her.....and she is now threatening me with the sack....

Life is often filled with such moments....storms that brew suddenly....and we find ourselves caught in the eye....anxious thoughts and fear are normal responses....when these come....I turn to God....and pray and ask Him to open my eyes.....

In this storm..I have learnt the following;

  • Truth is not always appreciated and not always known. I spoke out and in the process discovered that my boss did not fully understand my workload...which she acknowledged...nevertheless, when I opted out....the winds stirred!
  • Listen to God. Knowing my appraisal would be "intense"...I insisted on another boss being present. To safeguard against bias. He saw my predicament and gave me the "opt out option"...an option I didn't know existed....but when presented, I knew God had availed a way out for me and I took it. My former dept is now in the process of presenting me with a new offer and I am glad and hopeful it will surpass my present.
  • Trust God. My appraisal did not catch God by surprise. I had prayed before it and trusted God for His will to be done. When the storm came - I prayed thus..." I am in trouble, God - listen to my prayer! I am afraid of my enemies (the sack) - save my life!"....and God answered me..."Do not be afraid!". So it is right for me to praise God because He answers prayers. He answers by giving us victory and does wonderful things to save us. People all over the world and across distant seas....TRUST IN GOD.

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Good God

I am like an olive tree growing in the house of God; I trust in His constant love forever and ever. I will always thank you, God, for what you have done; in the presence of your people I will proclaim that you are good. Psalms 52 : 8 & 9

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I want to run....

As a deer pants for water, so I pant for revival.
I am a youth, drained by constant life demands
Who desires rest 
Wisdom to know whats really important
Strength to accomplish what is necessary

I am one who waits on you, Lord
Renew my strength
Help me soar 
Aid me to walk and not faint
Run and not grow weary
Till your work through and in me is completed.

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Many Thanks, Lord

I thank you Lord, for you see me. Day by day as I walk with you, I have come to know that you are hands-on in my life....that you see me, you feel me, you know my thoughts, my feelings and the reasons that form those thoughts and feelings.

I thank you Lord, that even though you are the supreme Judge, you show me mercy where I deserve punishment, you call me to yourself  and remind me that your love is constant.....your constant love for me esp. in times when am not at my best.....overwhelms me.

I thank you God, because you keep promises, no matter how long it takes, I know you keep your word.....and often keep it in the most mysterious, confounding....yet so fulfilling way - and often give more than you promised.

Lord, thank you for everything....and indeed everything.....sometime back, I thought I could repay your kindness....but now what you have given me, I cannot repay. I am forever indebted to you. Your love for me  consumes me. I have not always felt worthy of your love, because I have always been a person who feels that to receive something, I have to earn it. I fall seriously short... in earning your love, yet you give it day in, day out.....and in increasing measure...so I now accept your love, as your daughter and as your friend....my prayer is that my life would honor your love.

Lastly, I thank you that I prayed and shared my heart with you regarding Muthoni my friend who remains in captivity in the hands of warlords in Somali. You have seen and felt my bleeding heart....comforted me and gave me the assurance that she is under your care  and by that she is well....while I slept you have sent me a dream and believe by this dream, she is strong in her faith in you and your ability to deliver her back to us. May 25th Sept remain true.

Many Thanks Lord.

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Oh! My God

My God is good. His goodness is so hard to express, explain.....I try to search for words, but none can contain what I feel.....

God's love is constant - at my best and at my worst, the scale remains the same and this humbles me so much.....what depth of love! 

God's comfort and peace while in trouble is unexplainable. The knowledge that even when things are so grim, He is still incharge, He reigns! - having this knowledge when in captivity is so redeeming, knowing that even in chains, I am free, for God reigns above all!

God's forgiveness and justice - that when I deserve punishment, your grace covers me, you condemn me not for my sin, but instead when I come to you in repentance, you forgive me and take away my guilt....Lord, I bow before you in humble adoration

I will tell about your strength on my blog, I will tell BOLDLY of your constant love. 
You have been a refuge for me....  A shelter in my time of trouble..
I praise you, my DEFENDER.

My refuge is GOD
the GOD who loves me.

I depend on GOD alone, I put my hope in Him, He alone protects and saves me....
He is my DEFENDER and I shall never be DEFEATED.

My SALVATION and HONOUR depends on GOD. He is my STRONG protector and shelter!

More than once, I have heard GOD say that POWER belongs to Him - and I BELIEVE Him.

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Bubble Trust...

Trust. That's what the Lord is requiring of me more and more each day. To surrender myself to Him fully. A feeling that gets scaring some times...especially when it feels like am floating in a bubble...a bubble that am afraid can burst anytime....yet the Lord keeps reminding me that He is in-charge, I just need to trust.....trust like Abraham did...even when what He is doing does not make sense to me...for His ways are higher than mine and so are His thoughts greater than mine....all my wisdom is like foolishness in light of Him, for He is the creator of wisdom.

So, Lord, I can and will trust you no matter what, I will trust you with where I am...and believe that you will have your will. I rest in your grace and mercy....and forgiveness.

Belated Happy Father's Day.

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Tit Bits - Half Year

Its 1st of June.
The past half year has sped by me….... 
Tit Bits….
I began this year with the feeling that God was keen to answer my prayers this year…all I needed to do was pray….and so prayed did I. I asked for strength to manage my stressful job situation….and this far….I hold the flag of victory…battles have been there…late nights, unbelievable deadlines….errors that could have resulted in warning letters…but otherwise blew over peacefully…in this and more… .God has granted me such favor with my superiors / at work….am in awe, Father!.
I prayed for help against my character flaws….exaggerations & unintended  lies….and God has brought a wonderful workmate in my life , F, who is so careful about what she says….always insisting that we state things as they are and confess to our errors…..personal and team accountability... an answered prayer!
I prayed that God would help me find a nice apartment….I got one, out of town….in a quiet neighborhood…..15 minutes to work….wonderful ambiance. Perfect! In addition I got such a wonderful neighbor….a literal knight…..who in what I could call coincidence but I know better to call it, God’s providence, is always there to rescue me and help me in situations that I would otherwise be so scared to do myself…case in point, recently there were floods caused by the rains…this particular day, T (my neighbor) calls and asks I pick him up along the way home…it’s been raining heavily…..I pick him…and as we navigate home…what do we come across??....the bridge that connects us home has been overrun by flood waters….knight takes the wheel and battles the floods and delivers me home safely:-). There have been many more episodes……untimed, unplanned, and unexplainable – must be God and am thankful. I did pray and ask God to give me good neighbors…..and T, well is in a class of his own. 
I prayed for love, and love has come to me….as a double portion. Lord am thankful and will walk with you as you guide me in your will.
My friend Hellen…..got a baby boy….my friend Joel…got married…..my kid bro got a new job…..my pal Kev, got a new ride and babe……my pal…Jamo & wife…are expecting a baby……my sis & I have this good thing going on…..my pal TK is biking :-) …I couldn’t say it all……..there is life in my life! Am so so so very thankful God!
Lord – One final thing I want to thank you for…..is for your time. The many nights I have sat on the floor….looking to the stars through my window….talking, singing, being silent….crying my heart in joy, in plead, in pain…..in desperation…..in thanksgiving…in praise…in worship…..in shame….in confusion….in surrender…..and being with me in my me-ness. Thank you for grace, for mercy, for forgiveness, for answering my prayers. I often ask myself….who am I that the Lord of all the earth would care so much for me….a mere human…who’s relatively so imperfect in righteousness…..yet, you care!
You are beyond me God….beyond me.
My greatest failure, this half…..is that I have not invested in reading my bible regularly…..and because of this….I am losing my life trail for lack of direction….so to the second half…..here is back to the daily discipline of bible reading.. .!  
Lord, I bow to you.  I commit the next half to you. All of me.

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Cross Roads

Sometimes, when I look back and think of all the
could-have-beens in my life,
I often wonder:
Did I make the right choice....
Did I miss a road sign....

Am I on the right track....

C R O S S R O A D S.....

They happen all the time,
Saying goodbye to some,
Choosing only one.
Letting go, holding on... settling for now,
But facing what must come....

Yes, in life we all reach a crossroad sometime.
We make painful decisions and take some risks
as we pursue our dreams.

But one should not stay at the CROSSROADS too long.

For even the birds have to leave their nests sometime
& learn how to fly.

Life's road is long & rough, and there are stretches
when one has to do it all alone.
And should you meet the cross at the road, be
consoled.

Yes, more often than not, the road less traveled
will surely bring you home.

Face the light and the shadow falls behind you.
Turn your back & the shadow stays in front of you.
Indeed, the truth hurts,
but it will surely set you free.

The bitter pangs of parting will give birth to
another moment called GROWING.
So grow on..... until it's time for you to move
on.... and face the crossroads again,
knowing that God loves you and is in control of
everything.

Be strong at the crossroads.
Embrace the CROSS at the ROAD.
The Lord is at the cross, at the road,
at all your CROSSROADS......


(Not mine - a friend sent it to me, and it encouraged me so!)

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Finding Rest

Truly my soul finds rest in God;
my salvation comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

My salvation and my honor depend on God
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.

One thing God has spoken,
two things I have heard:
“Power belongs to you, God,
and with you, Lord, is unfailing love”;
and, “You reward everyone
according to what they have done.”

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Morning Soul Dross

Lately I have been struggling with Soul DROSS. Dross is ‘the scum that forms on the surface of molten metal as a result of oxidation’....for my soul, dross are the “uncertainties/ questions/ what ifs/ why’s”... that come to the surface of my soul as a result of sub-conscious & conscious soul searching through the night.

It’s like every time I lay to sleep, a fire is turned on at the bottom of my soul...like metal...the fire melts my soul and all “impurities – read – unresolved issues”....raise to the top as dross. I awake to soul turmoil....and it’s so uncomfortable!!! I churn the issues up and down....try to make sense of them again....some have been buried for so long.....why the heck..does my soul bring them up again??!!!!

The worst stab of this dross, is when it starts to question God, my faith....did I say this was uncomfortable??!

When dross is at full boil, my spirit arises and it’s a tag of war battle....my soul questions God....my spirit defends God.....and it goes on and on...till I cry out to God....and I ask for the war to cease.....peace is what I desire!

God, my father – you have seen all this....please grant me rest. I have said all I know to say...I have groaned and sighed when that’s all I could do!

Father – I am yours. You alone are my help. I look to you alone for rest.You know me…..you see right through me…..I am in great need of you.

Pray with me when you read this. I greatly desire for the dross to be wiped away.

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Search Me.

You have searched me, LORD, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue, you, LORD, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you. If only you, God, would slay the wicked! Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty! They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name. Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD, and abhor those who are in rebellion against you? I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalms 139

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He really is........

God is good. He really is. He has been good to me. For the last few months, I felt like He had forsaken me. I faced many challenges; many trials….I lived in the dark of day. I put up face, said I was okay, smiled, took each day by my frail strength.

I felt deserted, yet I knew He never leaves me – God is good. I felt unloved, yet I knew His love never ends - He really is good. I felt forgotten, yet I knew He said, He’d never forget me – God is good. I felt tired, yet He gave strength to face each new day – He really is good. I stopped praying, yet He kept blessing me – God is good. I lost sight of my dreams, yet He kept telling me – its not over – He has been good.

His goodness has been hidden from me while in the dark…as I came to light, I marveled at His presence while I was in the tunnel. The words of psalms 23 came true, “in the shadow of the valley of death, I will be with you”,…. His rod and staff have led me to light.

Am grateful, its been sooo dark….am glad….to see the light of life…to laugh again heartily, to dance to music, to sing along to favorite tunes, to be light again and have a spring to my step. To embrace the feeling of joy, the feeling of happiness, the feeling of being alive, being relevant….having a purpose, a goal to life…..to have hope again.

Thank you God – you are GOOD.

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A Gassy Year !

I stopped with a friend at a shopping mart, yesterday. Waiting beside the curb, as she made her purchase, I glanced but a second at some gas cylinders, and wondered what stories they bore from the different homes they'd served.

In some homes, the gas they bore was used up very fast....active homes, with lots of cooking & parties, families with many home cooked meals.....single households that entertained quite a bit.....interesting gas life they'd say...but soon, they'd run out and it was time to move on.....back to the station for a refill and to the next home....

Some homes, well, didn't cook so often....so it was a long stay....a very long stay...yeah!in some bachelor houses....a restful and welcome stay especially when transiting from an active house......


The cylinders had quite large archives of kitchen stories, warm stories, hearty stories, juicy hushed stories, sad stories, stories of coffee brewed late nights and early mornings.....secured stories....replicated stories.

The cylinders had graphic memories of sights of kitchen dramas, some mentionable...others, well......

All, in a gas cylinder's life!

...so... 2012, I'll be like the gas cylinder! hic :-)!

Wherever, I find myself, I will expend my energy and take in all that the environment will afford. When am out, I'll recharge...move on.....to my next assignment....and carry with me the sights and stories....that will make 2012. Easy is that!

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Disclaimer

The pictures used herein are not mine. Videos are uploaded from You-Tube and once in a while share stories of whom the authors are unknown. If any stories, videos or images that appear on this site are in violation of copyright law, please email: excellenthandsblog@gmail.com and I will remove the offending information as soon as possible.

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