De- Complicate Your Life

"Finding a way to live a simple life today is man's most complicated task."

You agree? I do. Tired – my most pronounced feeling as I made way to work this morning, and I questioned, does life really have to be so hard?! For the first time, I felt the burden of the curse of toil given to man. Solomon the Wise, quips ‘’meaningless – chasing after the wind – that’s life!”

Over the weekend, at a social function; I got into a conversation with a couple of friends about life…and the discussion quickly drifted to the ‘value’ of a certain decision I had made. This may get a bit controversial – but here goes…..

I have been attending night school for three and a half years now – and my heart is deeply saddened by one observation – young mothers in class! I may not have any moral ground to say this – but my feeling is that each working mother needs to be present in the 1st three years of their child’s life after work! Here is my thought process (for working mom): alarm goes off at say 5am, child is asleep…6 – 7am – dress up & kiss child goodbye (if the child is awake anyway)….8am – 5pm (work – maybe make an occasional check in call to the nanny)…5.30pm -8.30pm (night school)…9 – 10pm (get home – tired, and more likely than not, so is child…and asleep (day gone)……soon 1 -2 or 3 years down, diploma/ degree in hand – child is 6years and mom had missed on the child’s most important formative years. SAD AND IRREVERSIBLE!

My valued decision has been that childbirth for me must wait until I have finished school – a sentiment that a couple of my friends rubbish – they claim to have mastered the ropes of balance between family, career and continuing their education – my question has been, 'at what cost?!' Not too many people can boast of the ability to juggle three eggs without a fall after a length of time! – Eggs, that’s what I call family, career and progression (whatever form it takes) and these are fragile. I say, count the cost!!

I think it’s an honorable thing to ‘agree to disagree’. Its a sign of immaturity to impose and demand people to agree to your line of thought….so I hurriedly ended the now uncomfortable discussion with sourness in my mouth. Reflecting back, I realized, that we need to be really careful about guarding our ‘valued decisions’ on what course in life, we choose to take. Well meaning friends and relatives often give suggestions on the whole balance act but this is my purest take:

‘’Follow the path of life that most makes sense to you and approach that path with such focus and determination. There will always be many ways to reach a goal, but choose only that, which works for you – develop a resilience that is unshakeable and forge towards that which can only be a victory for you. Too often, we load ourselves with too much responsibility / toil, which would be more manageable if we just, but spread our goals over a time span. Be your own pace- maker’’.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams – not your friends’ dreams, nor your employers’ dreams – YOUR OWN DREAM.

De-complicate your life.


Of Nervous Speeches....

''i get so nervous before i have to give a speech that i can’t sleep the night before, and then i’m not at my best.'' - an anonymous comment left on a 'help site'..another read..."Speech tomorrow, am nervous!''....

Sound familiar?... below are a sample of ''helpful'' suggestions 'anonymous' got:-

R :
'practice it a few times in the bathroom in front of the mirror'. (seriously?)

'Just Look At The Back Of The Room When Presenting' (hmmmmmhh)

'Last time I had to make a speech, I volunteered to go first, thought I had the thing memorized, got about half way through and just stopped. Looked around for a minute or so and then just sat down.' (how does this help??)

'Just realize that nobody is listening to your presentation.Think about it. Do you listen to other peoples presentations? didn't think so'. (There is a tad of truth in that!)

'Do something really embarrassing before you start so you don't have to worry about doing something embarrassing during the speech'. (nervousness is already embarrassing!)

'Honestly, the best advice,is to know your subject well, and speak as though you care. Don't bore people. (only guy that made some sense...)

I have heard these words told over and over, but when held to a public speech, none of it helps!!!

Yesterday, I faced the public speech test again, thought I'd nailed it after 4 previous 'smaller audience' presentations but nah! the nerves did what they know best and actually outdid themselves somewhat. It was the biggest and most diverse group I'd ever addressed, my solace lay on the hope of a few sympathetic smiles from those known to me - my classmates.

My co- presenter shone; pretty, sharply dressed, beautiful smile; - composed, confident and with thorough understanding of her topic - mesmerized the audience; my nerves captivated by her enthusiasm, stilled. Next co-presenter - authoritative voice, no shaking (she normally shakes) - superb use of words...and right there i knew i had to 'up' my game!

Pressure! Will i match up? my heart began to beat (like faster and louder than normal) - my breathing deepened (= sighs) stomach ''butterflies'' began to flutter....and i suddenly had the sheer urgency to visit the bathroom (save that i had not taken any liquids 4 hrs prior.!#?)...then i thought, ' my mouth will freeze'...' panic'....i contemplated running out....i have never had it, so bad...

10 minutes to my start time; i remembered 'pep' talk....and began to recount all possible reasons why i shouldn't be afraid....i mean, 'whats the worst that could happen?' poor thigh suffered continuous thumping's from a felt pen, as i chanted 'i can do it'! (x20) beneath my breath..THEN I PRAYED - ''LORD GIVE ME STRENGTH - save me from utter embarrassment....''

11th minute.....'Good Evening...I continue with the presentation, my focus will...'. 25 minutes later, the moderator motioned my time as up..i speedily brought my paper to a close.What followed ..was an outstanding clap from the audience; my co- presenters wide smiles and hearty hand meets, coupled with congratulatory remarks from the professor,...prevailed my fastest answered prayer- i wasn't getting no C nor D!

I retreated to my seat with a lesson - WHEN GOD IS ALL YOU HAVE, HE IS ALL YOU NEED.
Only those with public speech forbia will 'feel me' on this one!

(I just remembered a conversation in class sometime back, one of my classmates asked a question that we didn't get to hear in totality...another, turned and said - ' Christ is the answer' which we responded - ' what was the question?'...and she said again; 'It doesn't matter what the question was...Christ is the answer to all questions!!'....i like this girl!)



I got one of those powerpoint forwards with slides and nice pictures giving advice...and slide read - 'Try and make 3 people laugh each day' - isn't that nice....the world would certainly be lighter if we did that.....

Laughter in my opinion is the most beautiful human expression... i relish a hearty laugh...the kind that makes you tear....from sheer joy, excitement or wonder.

Here are a few characters that guaranteed to make me laugh.....

1. Donkey - from the animation Shrek.

(to Shriek)
Donkey: And then one time I ate some rotten berries. Man, there were some strong gases seepin' outta my butt that day!
[to the dragon]
Donkey: Oh, what large teeth you have. I mean white sparkly teeth, I know you probably hear this all the time from your food but you must bleach or something, 'cause that's one dazzling smile you got there and do I detect a hint of minty freshness?
[Shrek and Donkey are on their way to rescue Fiona, Donkey sniffs the air]
Donkey: Man, you gotta warn somebody before you crack one like that. My mouth was open and everything.
Shrek: Donkey, if that was me, you'd be dead. That's brimstone... we must be getting close
Donkey: Yeah, right, brimstone, don't be talking about no brimstone. I know what I smelt and it wasn't no brimstone and it didn't come off no stone neither.

2. Gilmore Girls

Lorelai, Rory and Emily Gilmore, Suki and Luke - can't get through any episode without a crack!

3. Sid (the sloth) - Ice Age.

Manfred: Hey, he's wearing one of those baby thingies.
Sid: So?
Manfred: So, if he poops, where does it go?
Sid: [pause] Humans are disgusting.
Sid: So she picks this hair off my shoulder, and says, "If you're gonna have a second mating dance, at least pick a sloth with the same color pelt." And I go, "Whoa! She's gonna go praying mantis on me." Know what I'm saying?

4. Madea - Tyler Perry

Best thing that has happened to comedy!

5.Chris - Eveybody Hates Chris.

His 'voice over' life and family - too comical!

Whatever makes you laugh,Indulge in It!



The pictures used herein are not mine. Videos are uploaded from You-Tube and once in a while share stories of whom the authors are unknown. If any stories, videos or images that appear on this site are in violation of copyright law, please email: and I will remove the offending information as soon as possible.

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